On this page you'll find books and references to
increase your Assertiveness.
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How to Raise Your Self-Esteem : The Proven Action-Oriented Approach to
Greater Self-Respect and Self-Confidence
This one is certainly the
best self-help book that I've encountered in my search for help. I've read
some of the supportive reviews, and I agree with the praises. This book has
been helpful for me, and I did manage to raise my self-esteem quite a bit,
hence the 5 stars. However, instead of doing some more praising, I thought a
word of advice is in place for those considering buying this book. I'm
writing this for people who seek self-help books because they feel like they
really NEED help.
In seeking help of the kind this book is offering, it's helpful to
understand the limitations of self-help books in general. If you can afford
therapy, then I strongly recommend that you seek therapy. An interesting
question for you to ask yourself might be - if I need help, why must it be
SELF-help? If the answer isn't money, I'd advise you to rethink it.
I've worked with this great book for over a year, and I have been to therapy
for several months. My impression is that there are improvements that are
MUCH HARDER to achieve on your own. I think some of the reasons for me were:
- As I worked on my own, my defense mechanisms were trying to make it easy
for me, by dealing with problems that were relatively easy for me to deal
with. For instance, it was easier for me to deal with my problems in my
relationships with my friends, so I avoided my relationships with members of
my family. Naturally, the latter have significantly more effect on me.
- A self-help book tries to help as many people as possible, therefore
describing many different problems that people have. Another defense
mechanism would make me adopt problems which I don't have, as it is much
easier to deal with problems that you do not have. A therapist can help you
filter these out.
- Finally, any amount of words written in a book could not have the effect
for me of the nurturing relationship with a human being, that seems
empathetic to my problems, is dedicated, and accompanies me on this very
difficult, painful and frightening quest for happiness.
If you do decide to buy this book, be prepared for a long rewarding journey,
with ups and downs, pain, anger and tough decisions to make.
The two things I liked most about this book: First, it helped me feel good
enough about myself to be able to seek help, to share my problems with a
therapist, and gave me hope (by proving it) that good may come out of it.
The second, it is honest. As opposed to the many "Suddenly it's all so
simple and easy..." self-help books, it prepares you for hard work, and does
not pretend to have some voodoo technique of helping you.
How to Develop Self-Confidence And Influence People By Public Speaking
I regularly give public talks, and am always looking for ways to improve my
speaking and organizational abilities. On a lark, I picked this up from a
friend's bookshelf, and simply couldn't put it down, eventually buying my
own copy. It isn't only that the author offers highly useful, practical
information regarding poise, confidence, and organization, but also writes
with a level of skill that is truly rare. I recommend this book not only to
burgeoning and expert public speakers alike, but also to writers interested
in reading truly masterful prose.
Unleashing the Warrior Within
War is hell, but if you prepare
properly for war, there's not much about life that will take you by
surprise. At least, that's the premise of Unleashing the Warrior Within, in
which author Richard Machowicz takes the lessons he learned as a Navy SEAL
and applies them to real-life situations.
For example, in war you learn that there are three dynamic elements of
combat: target, weapons, and movement. The target dictates the weapons, and
the weapons dictate movement. In real life, your target is what you want;
your weapons are your skills; and movement is whatever you need to get in
position to use your skills.
But, since deciding upon a target is the step that's most troubling to
people, he adds another wartime analytical tool called the CARVER matrix.
You lay out various targets you may have in life--a better job; getting in
shape; buying a new house; and taking on a new business partner, say. Then
you assess the criticality, accessibility, recognizability, and
vulnerability of the target, plus its effect on your overall mission in
life, and the potential return on your effort.
Machowicz calls his philosophy Bukido, and when you take his classes in Los
Angeles, you learn self-defense along with these life-improvement skills. In
this book, the object is to get you to choose a mission that is closest and
most important to you, and then achieve your goals with military precision.
By the time you're through learning the seven principles of combat, what
you've really learned is how to think critically and focus your efforts.
Machowicz uses his students as examples of how the enemy in life is really a
lack of action, allowing life to take you along for a ride. So if your
current target is a solid self-improvement course, Unleashing the Warrior
Within could be your most effective weapon.
How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing With People
reading this book I was a mild, ineffectual human. I read this book,
slowly meditating upon its rich information. I tried one of its
recommendations to establish a simple tributary relationship with a
homeless man. It worked, and the homeless man would happily perform my
bidding, no matter how debasing and cruel were my requests to him. Feeling
confidence with my new powers over people, I used my influence to get a
doctor to give me thousands of dollars worth of brand new medical
Anyways, I'm now able to exert my dominance over a network of individuals
who all pay tribute to my nascent magnificence. For instance, this past
week I've eaten nothing but the choicest mule steaks, sweet turtle soup,
and premium caviar - all of which were provided by my subordinates. I now
know why David Koresh found this slim little pearl such a godsend.
I owe it all to this book.
The Ultimate Secrets of Total Self-Confidence
This is an easy
to read paperback that's only about 200 pages long. An hour or two per
day will help you get to the end of the book in about a week. It then
takes 21 days to break your old habits and reinforce the new ones that
Dr. Anthony's premise is that most of our problems with self-confidence,
self-esteem and success can be traced back to our belief systems, habit
patterns and level of awareness. He says that unless you accept that
your current level of awareness totally dictates what you get out of
life, you cannot change anything. According to the book, one's awareness
is a result of one's belief systems. So, our belief systems are what
limit us from achieving our potential.
We are trapped by our belief systems because of strong habit patterns.
These habit patterns are a survival mechanism so we don't have to spend
too much time figuring out how to respond in different situations. But,
they also keep us on the same path in life. So, in order to get on the
success path (if you are not on it already), it is necessary to start
changing our belief systems. It isn't enough to realize that we are
wrong about some of our beliefs, but we actually have to change our old
habits and form some new ones to replace these old habits. The author
believes that it takes about 21 days to break an old habit and form a
It is a very simple theory but it has worked for a lot of people who
have faith in this theory. I have myself utilized it at various points
in my life when I felt that I wasn't going anywhere in life. A lot of
people that I recommended this book to have found it useful too. The
title sounds a little corny, but I guess the publishers used it to get
people's attention. But this book is really about changing your life and
the tools that help you do it quickly and effectively.
There is a lot more meat to the book than I have described here but it
is definitely a pleasurable journey that the author helps you take. This
book is one of my top 10 favorite books ever. I have bought several
copies of this inexpensive book and given them out as gifts to my
friends and family. Ignore the title and enjoy this gem of a book. Have
fun improving the quality of your life!
How to Succeed at Being Yourself: Finding the Confidence to Fulfill
Release The Confidence To Be Yourself! Do you
approach life with the confidence you need to become the best you can
be? Do you experience complete freedom to step out and make the most
of your God-given abilities? Or are you hindered, like many people, by
your own doubts of your capabilities to fulfill your potential?
Discover how to overcome trial, setbacks and self-doubt as you press
toward the reality of experiencing your dreams, while living with the
satisfaction of liking the person you are, on the way to becoming the
person you want to be. Learn how to: -Accept yourself in spite of your
weakness. -Live above feelings of insecurity, inadequacy and the fear
of rejection. -Experience the freedom to develop your gifts, talents
and abilities. -Leave the past behind and press forward into a new
life. -Live free from the many other hindrances to your enjoyment of
life! The standards many of us use for deciding whether we approve of
ourselves are faulty, yet we view these misconceptions as truth and
our successes or failures to conform to them as indicators of our
worth. Learn the true way to determine your worth and who you really
are. Get ready to experience the full measure of success God has
prepared for you that will dramatically change your life as you
discover How to Succeed at Being Yourself!